SiriusAddict.com

Today while I was driving to pick up movie tickets and then coming back from getting dessert, I dealt with numerous idiots on the road. Apparently, July 14th is “Take your car out and drive like a jerk” day. I didn’t get that memo, however. So, I was driving from getting movie tickets and I see this middle-aged lady in her PT Cruiser. It’s a really nice car for her mid-life crisis and it’s a very shiny blue.

I’m at a stoplight and I usually look around or spy on the person behind me for sheer amusement. Well, in this case I got disgust. She was picking her nose very clearly. We’re not talking a Seinfield pick your nose episode — we’re talking finger half of there nearly buried digging out a buried treasure. Fine, whatever. Some people in their 40’s still haven’t gone past the “pick your nose because I don’t want to use a tissue” stage of their life. Whatever. Who am I to judge her?

I did anyway.

I figured at the next stop light she would have been rich. Unfortunately, the pot of gold in her nose wasn’t found and X didn’t mark the spot. Or she was given wrong directions. I mean, it’s not that hard to find something in your nose. You have a 50% chance when going in (or blowing like self-respecting, mature people do) and then it’s pretty much a clear shot since your nasal cavity isn’t that big. Apparently, she was in the right cavity, but she didn’t stop at the next light and continue to dig.

This is two lights and approximately 3 minutes of digging total I’d rather not have seen. Granted I didn’t need to look but when someone is doing something like that, you just can’t not look. Don’t say you can because we all know you can’t. By the third light, she had stopped digging (and we’re talking blatant digging here not the “I can hide it” digging). She was clearly looking in the mirror (which I’ve always wondered why people do that since when your finger is up your nose that high, you can’t see anything anyway and the mirror will reveal nothing you don’t already know or, better yet, haven’t already explored…)

So that was that. Her license plate is “2AN E67″ (MD) – tell her you saw her picking her nose in the car and that she needs to buy a box of tissues.

So then coming home from getting dessert was fun. This stupid black woman cuts me off so I get around her and casually make my way into her lane keeping in mind that the Vulie Julie sticker on the back of car is bad news since NO ONE at Villa Julie (with the exception of ONE person I know) can park between the lines, drive safely, or even knows how to drive responsibly. She’s chatting away on her cell phone and didn’t have the “time” to use her turn signal when cutting me off. Being the nice guy I am, I get in front of her, sans turn signal, and then when she’s far enough back to slam on her brakes to not hit me, I decide that I want to turn here and not use a turn signal either. I’m just returning the favor, right?

Well, she’s still chatting it up with the cell phone glued to her ear and then she slams on the breaks, and honks the horn. Being the cautious driver I am and the enjoyment I get out of revenge, I take my good old time turning. It’s not that I am an aggressive driver – I’m really not. It’s that when you anger me in the car and do something stupid, I 2 times out of 10 will do it right back to you but I always do it in a safe manner, if that makes sense. I make sure they won’t hit me or damage my car. If they damage their own because they are glued to a cell phone, I will of course laugh at them hysterically.

Sometimes, I just wish certain people would just their license revoked permanently. Is that so wrong?